Goodbye To A Friend

There are so many things that will always remind me of you. You were one of those people. The kind of person that stated their likes and dislikes all the time; taking possession of the tangible and intangible so your memory will be forever intertwined with them.

I will never look at sunny days on the patio, the St. Louis Rams, tomatoes, smushy pillows or polar bears the same way because I was one of the people that was chosen to be blessed with knowing you. While those things are trivial, I guess the one thing I will always look at differently from knowing you is myself.

When we met I was 17, desperate to be older and you 30, amused by my naiveté. I sat in your chair complaining about boys and the latest fights with my girlfriends; always, of course trying to make myself sound more mature than I was. You would listen and nod and always made me feel legitimate. At the end of our 3 hours (enough time for a cut, shampoo and highlights) I would feel beautiful inside and out.

I always thought we shared a kinship immediately and this was reciprocated when I was finally 21 and after many discussions on NFL stats between you talking me out of not bleaching my hair blonde for the millionth time; we decided to watch football together at a local sports bar.

Through our years of friendship we were roommates, had fights and watched each other fall in love and supported each other when it all crashed and burned. I stayed with you during your first knee surgery and you gave me a place that felt like home.

The last time I saw you was the day before I moved to Wisconsin. You looked defeated. You cried. You had so much on your plate. I tried to comfort you and you told me I didn't understand. After all our years of friendship I didn't understand but I wanted to.

When I got the call I knew before anything was said. I thought at first you were finally at peace; as I write this I can only think of myself and how much I will miss you.